A Monumental Event
by Author Gal
Summary: Something is amiss in Rivendell, and it is up to Lindir to discover what it is. Can he do it before everyone is destroyed?
1. Lindir Begins to Suspect

**A Monumental Event**

Summary: _Something is amiss in Rivendell, and it is up to Lindir to discover what it is._

**Chapter One**: Lindir Begins to Suspect

The First Born children of Ilúvatar have long been envied by those that dwell with them in Middle-Earth. Men and Dwarf alike are struck with awe when the skills of the Elves are compared to their own. Long have they been admired for their expertise in warfare, their prowess in the defense of their realms. Their knowledge has yet to be rivaled, and their equal in beauty and grace has yet to be seen, if indeed such a creature exists. It appears to mortals that the Eldar know all, and so to catch one unaware is an action only heard of in myths and legends, in a time long forgotten.

These events are not unheard of, however. For there have been times when the Elves have been surprised and shocked by the actions of others. When Beren revealed his lost hand to Thingol, the King's surprise was so great that his attitude softened towards the mortal. When Niniel discovered her true identity from the lips of Glaurung, her horror and anguish was so great that she cast herself into the River Teiglin. When Elrond discovered Estel's great love for Arwen, to say that he was shocked would have been the greatest understatement known. Yet these instances of surprise are few and far between, thus creating the belief that Elves are omnipotent, with their knowledge of events stretching far into the future.

Therefor, had any mortal been present on the Third of January, 3019, in the common gardens of Rivendell, they would have witnessed a legendary event, for Lindir, Songwriter and Poet of Rivendell, was struck speechless.

And for Rivendell's Bard, this was A Monumental Event.

Lindir had been born with a gift for the expression of words, his sharp wit and fluid descriptions could even rival that of Daeron. Never had a situation occurred in which Lindir could not find some turn of phrase, be it in Quenya, Sindarin, Westron or, when the mood took him, Entish. As he took in all the beauty that lay about him, Lindir couldn't help but describe it in great depth so that in years to come, others would be able to share that moment with him.

But none of his skills or gifting could have prepared the Bard for this. For he was currently standing in the gardens, watching in horror as Lord Elrond… sang?

Not that this was unusual, for the Lord of Imladris had often been noted to sing for his companions if they had recently partaken in some Miruvor. Lindir himself had remarked many a time that their Lord made a fine baritone. But this was different.

The words that came from Elrond's lips were in Westron, and sounded so harsh and jilted that had Lindir not been frozen to the spot, he would have covered his ears to protect them. As it was, the Bard was wincing in his frozen state, wondering where in Middle-Earth his Lord had heard something so disjointed.

_Well I saw the thing comin' out of the sky_  
_It had the one long horn, one big eye.  
I commenced to shakin' and I said "ooh-eee"  
It looks like a purple people eater to me._

_It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater… _

"My Lord?" Lindir cautiously made his presence known to Elrond, who snapped his head in the direction of the Bard.

"Lindir." Elrond greeted him, somewhat embarrassed. "You caught me unawares, I am afraid that the warm sun had convinced me to sing a small ditty as I wandered."

Lindir blinked. "A what, sir?"

Elrond stared at Lindir for a few moments, then closed his eyes and shook his head slightly, as if to clear his thoughts. "My apologies, a ditty is an expression for a light song." Elrond explained as they strolled through the gardens.

Lindir frowned and stared over the gardens. "A … ditty." He tried the new word out on his tongue. "Truly, I have never heard this before. From what ancient lore did you learn it?"

Elrond gave a small smile. "No new lore, Lindir, but from our newest resident, Aerie."

"Aerie?" Lindir was beginning to suspect that his Lord _had_ been into the Miruvor again. Rivendell had no new residents since Estel had been taken in as a mere babe, and in dark time such as these no person unheard of would have been permitted to stay without the knowledge and acceptance of the whole household.

Elrond paused for a few moments before realisation set in. "Ah, but you were not here when she came! I went to summon you, but Erestor convinced me to leave you to record the events of the past few months in peace. But three eve's ago, I was strolling through the gardens when I felt that a new presence had entered the realms of Rivendell. It seemed as though it did not fit in this world, and it agitated me."

Elrond voice trailed away and Lindir stared at his Lord. Few times had the Lord of Imladris been agitated, and fewer times had he admitted it to someone of importance, let alone Lindir.

_I am beginning to believe that this is the work of something much greater than Miruvor…_

"Ah, but I was foolish, and rather than the darkness I feared it was but a simple maiden and her brother. They told me they were sent on a mission of great importance, and I first I doubted them, but now I see that they speak truly, for – ah! Erestor, how do you fare?"

Lindir watched in amazement as his Lord walked towards his chief councilor, and his mind raced through all the new information that he had just received.

_1. Lord Elrond was singing… very poorly… about a Purple People Eater. _

_2. Rivendell has acquired two new residents that I have never heard about before. _

_3. Lord Elrond was agitated. _

_4. He ignored it. _

_5. He called himself foolish. _

_Conclusive feeling - Be wary! Something is obviously in the water. _

After a few more moments of confusion, Lindir shook his head and went on his way to the stables, trying to ignore the nagging feeling that had settled in his stomach.

However, once at his destination Lindir was met with an overwhelming sense of mistrust as he walked through the stable doors. So heavy was this feeling that his knees buckled under the weight of it.

_What in Elbereth's sweet name has caused such a sense of foreboding? _Lindir though as he wildly scanned the room for danger. Even the horses were troubled, and Lindir noted that Glorfindel's horse seemed particularly agitated… agitated?

_"It seemed as though it did not fit in this world, and it agitated me…"_

"Hush now, Asfaloth, hush now." Lindir soothed the white horse, stroking his nose as he gazed about the room.

"The horse is skittish." Someone's voice called softly from the corner of the room. Lindir did not flinch as he continued to stroke Asfaloth.

"Indeed." Lindir replied quietly, trying to identify the intruder's voice. It was dark and low, revealing no secrets. As the creature spoke, Asfaloth became even more skittish, and Lindir began to hum quietly under his breath to calm the nervous horse.

The creature behind Lindir did not move, and for what seemed an age silence reigned. Lindir felt more and more uncomfortable until he could bear the feeling no longer.

"Are you going to give me your name, stranger, or shall we continue on as is?"

The stranger chuckled, and walked around until he was in Lindir's range of sight. "I am Nahald, son of Fengel, brother to Aerie and messenger of the Valar."

Lindir blinked. "Messenger of the… _Valar_?"

Nahald nodded. "Aye.

A pause.

"The same Valar that rule over Middle-Earth and reside on Valinor?"

"Aye."

"And they sent a message… with you?"

"No."

Relief rushed through Lindir like an ocean wave.

"They sent my sister with a message, I am merely here to protect her."

…

"Oh."

Lindir tried a new approach. "Have you traveled far?" He asked, moving to clean Asfaloth with a large comb.

"Our home is Gondolion, so we have traveled some distance." Nahald answered casually, stroking Lord Elladan's horse, which seemed to enjoy the attention.

Lindir knew he would develop a massive headache by sundown. "Gondolion? The Hidden City? The one that was destroyed by Morgoth in 511 and is currently home to Wargs, Balrogs and Orcs. This is your home?" Lindir couldn't keep the cynical tone out of his voice.

"Do you question my honor?" Nahald's voice was as hard as steel, and Lindir was confronted by the sudden change in tone.

_Yes, I do doubt you immensely, but we will not mention this yet._

"I question naught but my own hearing." Lindir forced a laugh, and Nahald relaxed at this, giving Lindir the opportunity to study his associate. Nahald was tall and broad, with the mannerisms and actions of a Mortal. In fact, he reminded Lindir strongly of the Mortal Boromir, but when Boromir was a proud and honorable man, one to trust and honor, this Mortal was merely the pretense of nobility.

_Mayhap I judge him too quickly. Indeed, he may be jesting._

"So how does Manwë fare these days?" Lindir asked casually, nerves on edge.

Nahald shrugged his shoulders slightly. "We had no contact with him, it was Elbereth who we were summoned by."

_Jesting? No. Delusional. Oh, by the Valar, yes!_

"And is she well?"

"Relatively. Námo won't let her redecorate the Halls, so she threw a temper tantrum and isn't speaking to him at the moment. She even sent Lúthien to plead with him, but he won't budge. Other than that she is quite well."

Lindir blinked, noting subconsciously that he seemed to be doing a lot of that recently.

"Elbereth, Lady of the Stars, most beautiful of the Valar, _threw a temper tantrum_?"

Nahald nodded. "Sad, but true."

Lindir felt his head reeling. "I think I need to get some air, will you excuse me?" Without waiting for a response he backed out of the stables and ran towards the river.

_I must check to see if anything has polluted its waters…_

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so it was my turn to write a parody! Any thoughts or ideas would be greatly appreciated! **

**This story is dedicated to all my friends at Deleterius, for their inspiring wit and genius! Thanks guys!**


	2. Lindir Deals with the Ways of Twins

**A Monumental Event**

**Chapter Two**: Lindir Discovers the Ways of Twins

"And Elrond was singing?" Ninriel asked Lindir, an eyebrow raised.

"Singing." Lindir echoed, frowning thoughtfully. He watched as his wife cleaned up their son, Lindhin, who was squirming desperately. "About a purple people eater."

"A what?"

"A purple people eater." Lindir repeated, taking a hold of his son. Ninriel frowned.

"Is it purple, or does it eat purple people." She asked, wiping Lindhin's face.

"I could not say." Lindir mused. "Perhaps I should ask Erestor if he has heard about this creature. It might make for an amusing tale."

His wife rolled her eyes. "You and your 'tales'."

Lindir grinned as he bounced his son on his knee. "Ah, but you love me for it."

Ninriel sighed, smiling as she took her son back and walked into their bedroom. "But back to previous conversation," Lindir said as he followed her. "What do we make of Lord Elrond? Should I inform the elders?"

"Has Glorfindel come back yet?" Ninriel asked.

Lindir shook his head. "If only he had. He is not expected to return for two sunsets, there is Orc movements to the south and it concerns him."

"So that is why he left Asfaloth."

"Yes, it was a mission of the greatest secrecy."

Ninriel paused. "Then how do you know of it?" She asked, quirking a brow. Lindir grinned.

"Ah, the same I know about everything else, my love. You have married a man of many talents." He told her, smirking and folding his arms.

"Oh, have I?"

"Indeed."

"Then tell me, O talented one, what are you going to do about this issue?"

Lindir frowned. "I suppose I should inform Erestor, yet Elrond seemed to imply that the whole council knows of Nahald and Aerie."

"Talk to him when you ask about the puce people eater."

"Purple people eater." Lindir corrected absentmindedly, sitting on their bed. "I suppose that is best, I will talk to him after the evening meal."

"We are eating there tonight?" Ninriel asked, pausing through changing their son. Lindir shook his head.

"Not until I have this sorted, I do not like the feel of this Nahald. Besides," Lindir smiled fondly at his family. "Why would I want to eat with those people when I can eat with just my family?"

Ninriel rolled her eyes, smiling broadly. "And you have been saying that every evening for the past seven years. We haven't eaten at the House since Estel and the fellowship left, I doubt any of them remember we exist any more."

"You exaggerate. I spend every evening fending people away from our door. Just last week Elrond asked if you were ready to start work in the kitchens once more. He says that the food has not been as satisfying since you left." Lindir told her, stealing his clean son back and holding him with one arm. "And I have you all to myself." He boasted, wrapping his arm about his wife's waist and planting a kiss on her head.

"I think I will soon be able to return, Lindhin is becoming less disruptive, and I can leave him with you for a few hours now." She replied, kissing his cheek. Lindir pulled her in closer.

"Not until I feel comfortable with this whole business." He said seriously, and Ninriel nodded in agreement. "Now," he smiled. "What are we having for dinner?"

Ninriel laughed and was about to answer when a knock sounded.

"Ah, that will be the first to come begging for your food." Lindir chuckled, giving Lindhin to his wife and going to the door. Opening the door, Lindir was surprised to see Elrohir there.

"Ah, Elrohir, welcome. I did not expect-" Lindir was cut off as something rushed past his head, exploding above him. Lindir gave a yell and leaped back as something wet rained down on him.

"By Eru!" Lindir grabbed his sword from its position beside the door and swung it about, waiting for an attack as he peered through the sticky goo. He paused as Elrohir fell to the ground, laughing.

"Elrohir?" Lindir asked cautiously, signaling for Ninriel to stay away. "Elrohir?" Lindir asked again, but the elf continued to chortle, tears streaming from his face. "For the love of Elbereth, tell me what is wrong!" Lindir yelled, furiously wiping goo from his eyes.

Elrohir slowly stood back up, giggling and wiping the tears from his face. "You should have seen the look on your face…" He gestured to the lintel of the door, and Lindir looked up to see the remnants of a rubber bag with an arrow through it.

"Elladan, we got him!" Elrohir called, and the other twin burst out from the trees with a bow in his hand.

"You mean you did _this_," Lindir gestured to the goo on his head and clothes. "Deliberately?" He asked, furiously.

Elladan nodded rapidly. "Aye, and we got you! That was the best joke _ever_!" He cheered, shaking Elrohir's hand proudly.

"You've done more of this?" Ninriel voice asked sharply from behind Lindir, and the twins responded with even more enthusiasm.

"Of course!"

"We're the champions!"

"This was the best-"

"After what we did to Asfaloth-"

"Oh, indeed brother Dan!"

"I agree, brother Ro."

"Shall we leave?"

"Oh yes!"

"Dan? _Ro_? What is going on here?" Lindir asked, bewildered as the twins ran off giggling.

Ninriel shook her head. "I have no idea, I haven't seen the twins act so silly since before…" Her voice trailed off, and Lindir nodded in agreement.

"They've been so serious since Celebrian left, and even before she went to Valinor, they never caused mischief of this… magnitude before." Lindir wrinkled his nose at the offending smell that clung to him. "This is foul."

"I agree. Come, I'll warm some water and we'll see if we can clean you up slightly." I'll just put Lindhin in his crib."

"I wonder if this will come off?" Lindir asked, staring in disgust at the muck on his clothing as he walked back into his house.

"It had better, or you'll be sleeping outside tonight!" Ninriel threatened and Lindir scowled. "Take that scowl off your face, it make you look horrid. Oh, you might want to check in on Asfaloth on your way to Erestor's tonight, I shudder to think what those two have done to him."

Lindir nodded. "I will."

_Later that night..._

After the evening meal, Lindir walked from his tiny cottage down the mountain and towards the Last Homely House, where everyone else lived, Lindir included until three decades ago. Elrond was going to pull the empty cottage down, but Lindir has begged and annoyed Elrond until he had let him move in. It had given Rivendell's bard some space to write and sing on his own, though he was a regular visitor to the quiet of the Hall of Fire. When Lindir had married Ninriel, she had moved in with him.

Lindir quickly made he was towards Erestor's study, promising himself mentally that he would visit Asfaloth on his way home. Only pausing twice to talk to people, (discovering that Tarnien was pregnant once again and Luthan was taking it very badly) Lindir arrived at Erestor's door, knocking loudly.

A loud crash came from within the room, and taking it as a 'come in', Lindir pushed the door open, sticking his head in. "Good evening, Erestor." He called cheerfully, only to be met with violent swearing and a loud commotion. Lindir stepped into the room cautiously, trying to find Erestor in the mess that occupied most of the councilor's chambers.

"Erestor?" Lindir called, ducking as a book flew over his head.

"If you come on behalf of those two vagabonds, tell them they will rot in Mandos if they ever set foot near my chambers again!" Erestor roared from another room, and Lindir's brow raised dramatically.

"I come about them, but not from them. What have they done?" He asked curiously, and a few moments later Erestor stormed out of his large walk-in library. Lindir blink, the councilor was furious, his eyes narrow and his steps jarring as he carried a large collection of books.

"Those two… _orcs_… have glued together the entire collection of tales from Gondolion! Every single page of every single book! All ruined!" Erestor hissed, and Lindir felt his blood boil.

"But, they were the only record we had of Gondolion!" Lindir exclaimed, fists clenching.

"They ruined them all." Erestor seethed, dumping the books on his desk. Lindir shook his head.

"I have written many songs of Ondolindë, the fairest city in our history. But none of them have such detail as those books contained. What shall with do without that information?" Lindir asked, resting against the walls. Erestor coughed.

"Well, we won't be entirely without them."

Lindir raised a brow. "But if they are all ruined…" He started, but Erestor snorted.

"Give me more credit than that, boy. Do you think I would let such valued books lie about without backups? No, these were copies that I had only spent _centuries_ of hard work creating, the originals are hidden in a vault somewhere."

Lindir felt a wave of relief wash over him. "Then all it not lost. Thank Eru for your meticulousness, Erestor!"

"Thanking me will do just as well." The councilor replied airily, and Lindir nodded in agreement. "Now, what have those two done to you?" Erestor asked curiously, trying to pry apart the pages of a particularly thick volume. Briefly Lindir told him about their trick and the reaction they had afterwards, and the councilor's frown deepened.

"I cannot recall a time when they have behaved so irresponsibly. Perhaps they are ill?" Erestor mused, using a letter-opener to slice the pages apart.

"They looked healthy, I saw no ailments when I laid eyes on them." Lindir replied, grinning as Erestor placed a book and a letter-opener in his hands. "But tell me, have you heard of a purple people eater?" Lindir asked, sitting down at the desk.

"A _what_?" Erestor asked, his brows raised so high that Lindir thought they might disappear into his hairline.

"A purple people eater." Lindir repeated.

"Is it purple, or does it eat purple people?"

"I could not tell you, I merely heard about it through Elrond." Lindir explained how he ha heard Elrond singing, and about his meeting with Nahald. Erestor nodded thoughtfully.

"Elrond inform the council about Nahald and Aerie, and yes, I did prevent him from bringing you to the meeting. I thought you had far too much on your plate to worry about new-comers." Erestor explained, and Lindir nodded in agreement.

"Indeed, I have been busy trying to record all that was said during the 'council of Elrond', as I have dubbed it, and the Fellowship's arrival and departure."

"Yes, but I was also unable to go because Glorfindel needed some obscure maps and books to study while he was gone. And… wait. Now that's interesting." Erestor mused, a frown spreading on his face.

"What is?" Lindir asked, but Erestor ignored him, drumming his fingers on a book cover for a long time. Lindir merely sat back and waited, he had seen Erestor like this before, and trying to talk to him would do no good. For half an hour Lindir sat, waiting, until Erestor focused on Lindir's face again.

"We need to go see Bilbo." He said quietly before racing out the door. Lindir paused for a second then raced after him, his long legs quickly catching up to the small councilor.

"But why Bilbo?" Lindir asked, loping down the hall beside Erestor.

"Elrond, Elladan and Elrohir are all behaving abnormally, as we have discovered, since Aerie and Nahald have arrived in Imladris. Correct?"

"Aye."

"And I know that all three of them were at the meeting when Aerie and Nahald arrived."

"So you are saying that that… what are you saying?" Lindir asked, slowing down as they came to Bilbo's room.

"I'm not sure just yet." Erestor shrugged, going to knock on the door.

"Wait." Lindir stayed Erestor's hand and looked around the hall, spying a maiden further down. Winking at Erestor, Lindir trotted down the hall and pulled up in front of the female.

"My lady, greetings. And how are you this day?" He asked, smiling charmingly. The maiden just rolled her eyes.

"What do you want, Lindir, and be quick about it." Lindorië asked her brother sharply, and Lindir chuckled.

"May we have some supper brought to Bilbo's room please? Enough for two elves and a hobbit?"

Lindorië raised a brow, but nodded. "Of course, but why?" She asked curiously, and Lindir smiled slyly.

"We need some information, and the best way to a hobbit's knowledge is through his stomach."

Lindorië chuckled, and nodded once more. She was about to leave when Lindir suddenly grabbed her arm. "Tell me, sister. Have you met Nahald or Aerie yet?" He asked seriously, and she shook her head.

"Not yet, but I am hoping to meet him soon." She winked, but her smile faded as Lindir frowned.

"As you love me, sister, have nothing to do with them." He said quietly, and Lindorië's brown raised.

"Pardon?" She asked, and Lindir shook his head.

"Do not meet them, do not see them. There is something about them that I do not like, and I fear it." For a moment Lindorië studied her brother's face, but then she nodded slowly.

"As you wish brother." She said, and Lindir released her arm and walked back to Erestor.

"What was that for?" Erestor asked as Lindir knocked on Bilbo's door.

"Supper." Lindir grinned, and Erestor gave a small laugh as a voice called out from within.

* * *

**A/N: This not mine. This be J.R.R. Tolkien's. Me no own. Grunt. **

**Ahem. Yes. Anyway, I have have a livejournal, so check it out for updates, comics, etc. It isn't really that exciting, but it keeps me on track! ;) The link is in my profile. Oh, and please review, my poor baby is suffering from lack of love. Thanks, and expect many more updates/stories in the next few days!**


End file.
